General Mish Mash

Unplugged – Part 2

Min Unplugged2

If you haven’t yet read Min Unplugged – Part 1, I highly recommend that you read that first before reading this.

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How was I betrayed I hear you ask?  I was betrayed in so many ways, but mostly it was my trust that was betrayed.

I really didn’t want to reveal any detail because without the whole picture, one snippet of detail can seem minimal, and by going into any of the detail, it also may give the impression that I am still stuck on this stuff.  It’s been nearly a year.  It has taken me a while – but I can honestly say that I no longer dwell on the past.   However, in order to provide a little insight into the betrayal I felt – I will give just a little snippet.  Keep in mind though, that there was a lot more to the whole picture.

Only the week before the incident, I had asked for confirmation of the period I would be continuing to act in this higher position.  The exact words were “Oh you don’t need to worry about that … it will be at least another 12 months. Don’t concern yourself!”.   Additionally, I had never had anything but complimentary and positive feedback on my work and the progress I was making from senior management, management, colleagues and peers.   Work was ridiculously busy but rocking along well.  In my mind, I had nothing to fear.  I had at least another 12 months in the role, progress was being made and there was a happy, positive vibe all around me because of it.  After inheriting such a chaotic mess – to see the progress, to have solid plans in place, to have such positive feedback – well it was exhilarating and exciting.

So … what was to come came as a complete shock.  To this day, I still cannot understand why such a ridiculous plan was ever devised nor who initiated the idea.  However, there is one person who had the final say over the plan and it is this person from whom I felt the most betrayal.  This was a person I had worked closely with for a long time, who was my greatest supporter, who always complimented my work ethic and achievements and who only the day before the incident had interacted with me giving no impression that all was about to change.  This person got someone else to do the dirty work.

I had an enormous daily workload.  On top of that, I was about to launch and project manage a high profile project.  I had told management that in order to better manage my daily workload as well as the project, I would need at least one other resource to assist with the project.  They agreed and said they would get back to me.  In a nutshell, the incident consisted of me being told that they had found a resource to help with the project.  They would contract in a Business Analyst but because that was so expensive they could no longer afford to pay me at the level I was at.  They were going to create a new position for me – at my substantive level (2 levels lower) – but I would continue to do all that I was currently doing except for ‘assisting’ the Business Analyst with the project rather than ‘managing’ the project myself.   The project that I had carried on my shoulders alone for quite some time, that I had studied and sat exams for in order to ensure that I was equipped with all appropriate knowledge and skills required to do the best job possible.  The project that I had already invested so much time and effort in, was excited about and had begun.

It gave me some pleasure to learn later that the idea of engaging a Business Analyst was knocked on the head by the CEO as an unnecessary extravagance and the same for the creation of the new position!  They should have done their homework first.

Just after the incident I realised that there was no way I could possibly stay at work for the remainder of the day and function as if everything was ok and normal.  I returned to my desk, collected my handbag and tossed it over my shoulder.  I shut down my computer.  It was then that a male work colleague came up to my desk and started talking business.  He was a nice guy.  We had a mutual respect and a great working relationship.  He noticed my handbag on my shoulder and that my computer was shut down and said “oh – are you going home?  Are you feeling sick?”.  “Yes” – I said.  “I’m not feeling very well”.  He said he hoped I feel better soon, that he would let me go and that he would send me an email.  “OK”  I said.  “I’ll read it when I get in tomorrow”.

I remember walking to the train.  It was if my mind was disconnected from my body.  I couldn’t feel the impact as my feet hit the pavement.  I was conscious of the need to concentrate or I knew I would trip and fall.  I was in shock.  I was in deep distress.  I was devastated.   I made it to the train station and boarded the train.  I was never usually on the train at this time of day and it was so unusually empty.  There was the pick of seats.  I kept my sunglasses on as I knew I was looking distressed and that there was the possibility of tears.   I was aware of my heart racing and a strange buzzing feeling throughout my body.  I still didn’t feel connected to my body.  I tried to concentrate on the stops, afraid I would miss mine.  I finally disembarked and robotically made my way to my car.  I don’t remember driving home.  I remember arriving home.  I dumped my handbag and dove onto my bed.  It was then that the tears begun.  I can’t remember much else of what happened that day, except that the tears just would not stop.

Medically, I was affected both physically and mentally……

Read More in UNPLUGGED – PART 3.

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The photos used to create this post’s banner image are not my own and photo credits are below.  

Photo credits:  Unplugged Image | Sad lady Photo

Linking up today with Essentially Jess’s – #IBOT

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24 replies »

  1. I love the strength you are showing in writing about the betrayal.
    You are showing that it is ok to fall,take time to gather strength and then get up again,life lessons learnt.
    I hope you feel proud of the beautiful strong lady that you are.
    Big hugs Xx

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    • Thank you so much Deby! I don’t feel like a strong lady. I think it is natural instinct to withdraw and heal and then to bit by bit build yourself up again. Min xo

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  2. Man, I would have wanted to punch someone (and I am not the violent type). What kind of absurd response is that to a realistic request. I hope next week, I read that they reconsidered and gave you a pay rise instead!
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

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  3. I’m always amazed by the politics and one upmanship that is present in some workplaces. Some people act like they never left highschool.

    It’s good to know you are in a much better place now – I know from experience how damaging sucky workplaces can be.

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    • Very true Liz – workplaces are often no better than school playgrounds. Sucky workplaces can be very damaging. I wish there was a way to stop it! Min xo

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  4. What can I say Min other than this is disgusting behaviour from their part. It is unfortunate that they didn’t have the decency to be honest with you. Maybe it would have been disappointing but at least you would not had to deal with such betrayal.

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    • Thank you Rita. Yes I think it was disgusting behaviour on their part also. What they did was very low and very damaging. It was a sucky workplace. I like that term (thanks Liz from Clover Feet!). Min xo

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  5. Oh Mins, I have to say that maybe the person that was your “biggest supporter” was probably the person with no guts, who had no idea to stand up to his/her bosses and fight for you. I have to say I can’t believe I have to wait another week to read more. x Em

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  6. It really frustrates me hearing stories like this. I have a similar one but what management did to you is unforgivable.
    I hope writing it all out is helping x

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    • Thanks Grace! This kind of thing happens far too often. I had a similar thing happen to me before but this one takes the cake. It was a hard decision to make as to whether to write about this. I have to omit a lot. I think it is helping – particularly in getting some validation from readers (in the way of comments like yours) that it was indeed a bad, sucky thing that happened to me! 😉 Min xo

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  7. I’m reading your journey with such a sick feeling of empathy. I’ve been here. There is nothing quite as soul shattering as when you feel like you have been doing a good job & then having the rug pulled out from under you. So glad you have been able to move on to better things xx

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    • So sorry to hear you’ve been there Nee. It’s not nice is it. Soul shattering is a good description!! There are many lessons I have learned because of it though – which will be shared in later posts. Min xo

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  8. Even though in reality we all know there are people around who have no morals or ethics, when you come up against one in your own environment it’s a kick in the head!!
    I’m hoping this has opened the door for better opportunities for you Min. You really don’t want to work with those type of people if you can help it. x

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    • Thanks Lisa – it sure was a kick in the head … and everywhere else! I’m hopeful that their are new and amazing opportunities ahead for me! My photography course is a good start – a new skill 🙂 Min xo

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